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I have 15 years exeperience in working with clients suffering from depression and substance abuse. I have worked with children and adults and believe in a holistic view. Search Questions or Ask New:. Top Rated Answers Anonymous May 29th, pm. Did you find this post helpful? Humans are known for making rash decisions and mistakes, and this can be seen through many instances throughout the course of human history.
Be it from grasping to a sense of security at a moment of vulnerability or being seduced by an ulterior motive. What we can do as human beings is only give back as much as we've taken from trust and honesty.
Whatever mistake we make, we take a proactive step in reflecting upon our mistakes and proving to society that we are no longer our past self. Lying and Cheating is no different, so first one must evaluate what constitutes as "giving back". A common first step is admitting your mistake without any cutbacks; no excuses.
Afterwards, assess the proper compensation for it, in the meanwhile bettering your ideals and principles in order to avoid making this mistake in the future. Once this is done, you have logically given the world your best, and regardless of whether they are open to forgiving you, you will forgive yourself. It can be helpful to remember that all of the decisions that we make are geared towards trying to make ourselves happy. Sometimes we get confused and end up hurting ourselves or others, but these mistakes don't make us bad people.
You just have to accept that you lied or cheated, with time you'll get over it if you accept it. And remember we're human we all make mistakes no matter how hard we try not to. Everyone is human, and each of us are limited by our own experiences and opinions. To know that cheating or lying is wrong is, in itself, commendable.
To seek forgiveness from yourself for such an act is doubly so. Before you even begin to forgive, congratulate yourself on how strong you must be, and how good your character is, for even beginning to come to terms with what you feel you've done wrong. Just as you would show compassion and understanding to for a misgiving, so too is it important to be gentle with yourself.
Understand what led to the situation, accept any errors you have made, and resolve that you will learn from them. Reflect on the experience as objectively as you can- don't beat yourself up, but don't inflate your own ego either- and focus on growing from your past.
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Anonymous October 15th, am. Understand that mistakes, even big ones, happen. Humans make progress in life - sometimes you have to learn through being stupid or reckless. Many people mess up badly, and they're still able to continue living!
Truly, your mistakes aren't as serious as you think, considering how many people there are and how many have ever lived.
Forgiving yourself is difficult but the pain eases over time, and you know better how to be merciful to yourself. Anonymous April 1st, am. It can ruin your life but be honest. Forgiving yourself is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.
If you have cheated or lied, it is huge to be able to look back on the things you did, accept that they have happened, know that they were wrong, and to move on. Forgiveness is the key to happiness. Ask your self why you did it. Don't justify your decision, but understand why you made that decision and promise you will do better next go round. Anonymous June 16th, pm. How you approach forgiveness will determine this. I, for instance, do not view forgiving as "forgive and forget" I like to think of it like with any relationship you have to lay foundations even with yourself.
Now a good foundation is stable and can take a lot of punishment but still remain. So your actions can be thought of as bricks in this foundation, so you have a bad brick, forgiving yourself is placing this bad brick into your How do i forgive myself for cheating on my husband and promising yourself that you'll build with better bricks around it. That way you will be able to stand on that foundation without fear of it falling apart under you.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship and you being able to trust yourself to do better will not take away the fact that you made a bad choice, but it will show that you learned and became better for it. Be the craftsman you and your loved ones deserve, build better.
If you are a Christian like myselfseek God and His presence. He can take away every negative thought, feeling, and past decision and make your life out to be good.
1. release emotional attachments to outcomes
Sin is flesh and we are the flesh. Jesus took our sins to the cross for us. If you're not a Christian, you need to dig deep down into yourself: Keep silent and just listen and image what all past wrongs you have committed. Breathe in, and just let it all go. You have one life to live. You may feel guilt, sadness, and more but you must keep your chin held high because life doesn't stop for anyone.
Every person makes some mistakes. Try to place yourself at the place of the person who's the victim and try to feel how they felt.
According to me the way to be able to forgive yourself is to face it. Now when you're done with that, try to tell yourself that your mistakes don't define you and you can rise above them if you want to. Explain yourself to you and accept yourself. It may not be right, but it does not say how are we as a person. We may not have been in a good moment or situation. And although proper apologies need to be made, a mistake does not make us unworthy of love and forgiveness.
2. come clean
Firstly, remind yourself that nobody's perfect. Promise to yourself that you won't do the same mistake and stick with that. What's past is past and you are better than who you were yesterday :. It can be hard to forgive yourself for lying or cheating, because you know you abused the power and love of someone you care about. But the best way to forgive yourself is to acknowledge you did wrong.
I used to be something of a serial liar when I was young. Now I look back and see it was fear that drove it. I was scared of failing, being judged, not fitting in. The burden of lying weighed on me, though, and I committed to live in truth as much as possible. It took time, and it wasn't always easy, but in the end it was the only way I could forgive myself: to make amends to myself and others by living in the world with honor. Learning from what you have done, and making a change at the spirit level, will ultimately lead to self-forgiveness.
Anonymous March 28th, pm. It's important to remind yourself that it's something that has happened in the past.
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The only thing you can do now is move forward, and change the ways you do things that you think would stop you from doing so again. The past is the past, and now you only have the present and the future. Practising mindfulness is a skill that could be used to overcome this problem. One can forgive himself for lying or cheating by realizing the feelings and thoughts that drove him to make his decision, and attempting to learn what he can do better next time. Only you can free yourself of your guilt.
The sooner you forgive yourself, the more time you'll have to live a happy life. There's no point in beating yourself up any further. Remember how unhappy this decision made you so that it won't happen again and move on to happier things to come for you.
First of all, make the judgement in your head. Was there a proper justification for your doing or not. If yes then learn to forgive and pray to God as he knows your intentions.
4 steps to self-forgiveness after the affair
And if no then again follow the same steps but just with more guilt. Come to terms with it. Accept your mistake ask for those forgiveness whom you hurt and learn to love yourself even after you do wrong. Humans make mistakes dont they?
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Anonymous April 6th, am. Sometimes, we blame ourselves for stuff which we didn't do. Realize that life is much too short and much too beautiful to hate yourself or blame yourself for mistakes. We all make mistakes, we all do ugly things sometimes. It's what you learn from the bad things you've done and how you move forward that matter.
You can't move forward if you dwell on the fact that you cheated and lied. Accept it as part of your past, a mistake you made. Promise yourself you will not do it again and work towards forgiving yourself. Being unable to forgive yourself can cause you to be filled with regret, and guilt.