When your ex wants you back… Before I even begin, I want to stress that this post does not just apply to romantic relationships. This can apply to your friendships, familial relationships, and professional relationships as well. It applies to any and everyone who was on the receiving end of toxicity, betrayal, disrespect, selfishness, etc.
It feels impossible to navigate because it is an all-out war between your gut, your head, and your heart. If it gets to the point where you have to take a quiz or become Inspector Gadget to figure out whether or not someone wants you in their life….
The 7 s that your ex may want you back (based on real life)
But what do you do when your ex wants you back for real and makes it very clear? But because there are so much more than the few you got in the past… it stops you in your tracks. Because these crumbs are substantial enough for YOU to construct a loaf out of. Whatever the case may be, the other party has either done or said enough for you to at the very least, stop and think about what to do and how to proceed.
These assumptions cater to our desire to be chased, needed as opposed to being wantedand fought for. If they have that much of a problem with you backing off and needing time to heal, maybe they should have been more mindful when they did what they did to cause you pain and sever the relationship in some cases, more than once. Remember, you broke up for a reason. Who are you dealing with?
There is no point in tying your worth to the hope that your ex has undergone a personality transplant in a matter of a hot minute. At the end of the day, no one wants to be in a relationship with Mommy. They want to be in a relationship with the girl who is anything but needy. The girl who has limits, standards, values her time, and knows her worth. What are you doing? Get real with yourself and stop fronting.
The truth really does set you free and your gut always knows what up — no matter how much your triggers and insecurities distract you. Are you ignoring pink and red flags? Are you kindly communicating with your actions and upholding your boundaries? Are you having an emotional jerk off session with yourself? Once again, shining YOUR light on your ex and then marveling at their illumination? Are you talking too much?
For me, it was always fear. Fear was triggered by my un-dealt with abandonment issueswhich made me starving for any little crumb of security. Because past relationships had depleted my self-esteem to the point of no return, I wasted so. As humans, we will sacrifice our own health, happiness, sanity, and self-worth just to feel one drop of the security that predictability provides.
I avoided acceptance so I could be justified in my pink and red flag blindness. I used to think that the level of heartbreak I felt was an indicator of the irreplaceability of the other person and the quality of what we had. Their patterns are; their character is. YES — there are couples who get back together and are better than ever.
What to do when an ex reaches out to you, according to experts
When your ex wants you back — The reason why they want to get back together may very well, be rooted in selfishness. Trust your gut. When you struggle with self-esteem and are in a toxic relationship, inconsistency and the intensity it breeds will always be mistaken for passion, connection, chemistry, and true love. Never works. I recently broke up with this boy because we were constantly getting into arguments and we was constantly making each other upset. And now he said he wants me back and he is going to change his ways just for me.
Can you please help me out?
Been a bad day for me. Thanks for still giving me the ability to laugh and feel positive inside out. So I saw him for who he was, and woke up. Slowly, but surely. Once again, you have not only hit this on the head, you have knocked it out of the park.
Holy crap. Thank you for helping so many of us with your insights!!! You are truly a gift from God!!! Thank you for your vulnerability and your grace. Hi Sb! Thank you for being a part of this tribe. OMG I have been through so much and I keep coming back here to read things to remind me of why I should love myself and not let a horrible selfish manipulative guy get the best of me.
Just so he can keep up the lies with her and she never finding out about my son and I. Your has helped me immensely and thought me to stay on my white horse and speak with my actions. I stopped talking, crying and feeling bad for myself. I stopped crying over why a straight up sociopathic bastard would choose someone else and I would be thinking she is better than me had something better to offer him than I do. But I know I deserve better. There is one thing I know…. How can a man who has had 4 kids with 4 different women meet you and all of a sudden be this amazing guy all of a sudden?
He lied to you he had just one child only for her to find out from me he had 4 and she was actually woman 5 with his 5th child!!! He abandoned us to be with her but I know my son and I won!!!! We won big time.
My ex wants me back: what should i do ?!
Natasha, I cannot tell you how much your blog has help me so much. I was loosing my mind asking myself wh? You are a true hero, warrior and survivor. You are loved, supported, appreciated beyond words and never, EVER alone. As always I appreciate your insights. Hi Amanda! Happy it helped! And thank you for a new blog topic idea!! Sending you so much love! I know you have touched base on it before and have revealed some of your own personal experiences with abandonment. I would love to hear more of your insights and views on the topic as I believe we all have some degree of undealt issues.
You are believed in, loved and supported. Love you sister.
My ex wants me back: 15 things to do about it
You are amazing! A couple of months ago I got left by my emotionally unavailable boyfriend for the third time in 3 years and this time we were living together. Thank you for that. Thank you again for your straight forward talk…it helps a lot! Just keep coming back to the blog and know that you are eternally loved, understood, appreciated, supported, believed in and VALUED by this tribe and I. Reading this blog made me realize how essential self love is.