|What is my age:||I'm 29 years old|
But we don't have to hate ourselves. Everyone does. They are feedback deed to make us better. Hatred, particularly aimed at yourself, is simply one of many negative emotions.
There, i said it.
Hating ourselves when these things happen is normal. Some of us deal with our self-hate through avoidance—we sleepwalk through life, never making any serious decisionsfollowing others, and avoiding all difficult tasks or confrontations. Some of us deal with it by numbing ourselves with sex or substances or obsession or distraction. Others try to overcompensate by trying to save the world and bring about a utopia and maybe start another World War in the process.
No, the solution is to merely minimize our self-hatred by first becoming aware of it, and then learning how to mold it and shape it and control it. None of them are perfect.
The more you hate yourself, the more you will try to please and impress the other people around you all the time. Saying no is pretty awesome when you know when and how to say it right. You say no to people who overstep their boundaries and make unfair demands of your time or attention.
No is awesome. Saying these noes is difficult, of course. But saying no to the people and things that harm your life rather than help is often the first step to learning how to love and care for yourself.
What I mean is masturbation in a more figurative sense—all of those superficial, self-pleasuring habits you indulge in on a regular basis.
Why we hate ourselves
These are all petty, inificant self-indulgences. No, not your cock—resisting giving into them is hard.
Because they do feel good. For a little while. But their meaninglessness will eventually consume you.
But I think the real lesson here is to learn how to self-regulate your self-indulgences. Again, it comes back to knowing when to say no to yourself. Not the cupcake itself.
Your tricky brain
And no, you may not eat the cupcake. Usually the things you hate most about yourself are the things you hide from the rest of the world. They are the things that you believe will cause people to reject you and hurt you and point and laugh at you. But these fears are often unfounded.
Why it’s hard to get over your own feelings
Because often the things we hate about ourselves are the very same things everyone else hates about themselves. The irony here is that love is most often achieved by finding someone sexy that embraces and even adores those deepest, darkest aspects of you, and you embrace and even adore the deepest, darkest aspects of them.
Opening up to the worst features of ourselves, and admitting and sharing them, brings about the best trust and intimacy. Forgiving means recognizing something sucks and still loving the person or yourself despite it.
How does one do that, exactly? Often it helps to remember your own failures and ignorance when forgiving someone else for theirs. And the more of a raging, judgmental asshole you will be. Your self-love is not proportional to how you feel about your successes. Your self-love is how you feel about your failures. A person who loves and cares for themselves does not have an overwhelming need to do everything right or perfect or correct the first time.
Have an existential crisis and near breakdown as you figure out what the hell the point of your life is anyway. Except for too much masturbationof course. Here was a big life-changer for me: realizing that if all of the nasty and horrible things I said to myself about myself were untrue, then all of the I hate my life someone fuck me, badass things I told myself about myself were probably untrue as well. Being special creates unreasonable expectations, and unreasonable expectations creates an extra special variety of self-loathing. And their response will be totally appropriate and correct.
And four-year-olds have an amazing ability to remind you of that. You either think everything about your life is the worst thing everor everything you do must be the best thing ever in order to compensate. And none of the above are true. Cindy, the four-year-old, gets that. But just shut up for a minute and be a tree. We all think we know ourselves well, but psychological studies show otherwise. In fact, most of us are somewhat deluded about ourselves.
I put together a ebook explaining how we can come to know ourselves better, just fill out your in the form. You can opt out at any time.
It's actually normal to "hate" your wife sometimes.
Read about it in my free ebook. Dealing With the Hate Some of us deal with our self-hate through avoidance—we sleepwalk through life, never making any serious decisionsfollowing others, and avoiding all difficult tasks or confrontations.
You always find yourself on binges—ice cream, Netflix, the Xbox, booze, sex. You struggle to empathize with others and what they go through.
Dealing with the hate
Expose the Hate Usually the things you hate most about yourself are the things you hide from the rest of the world. Take a Nap Seriously, you look tired. Let Yourself Fail Your self-love is not proportional to how you feel about your successes.
Then re-dedicate yourself to the simple service of others and the simple pleasures for yourself.
Both Your Positive and Your Negative Self-Talk Is Bullshit, so Stop Engaging in It Here was a big life-changer for me: realizing that if all of the nasty and horrible things I said to myself about myself were untrue, then all of the amazing, badass things I told myself about myself were probably untrue as well. Yeah, humility. How often do we hear that word thrown around these days? The common denominator of all self-hatred is an outsized sense of importance.
You may miss the fun-loving wife you used to know.