O ut of all the annoying, mind-numbing chores associated with your wedding, announcing your nuptials in the New York Times —or any paper, really—has the distinct honor of being the one activity, the only activity, that serves utterly no purpose.
Everything else, no matter how wasteful, at least contributes something. Cake is eaten. Flowers are smelled. Invitations are mailed and filed. They pick and choose whichever couple they damn well please, basically a cross between a sorority leader, college admissions officer, and God. Although we sometimes consider submissions received after that deadline, we give preference to those received first.
Fair enough. These announcements, obviously, demand rigorous fact-checking.
Scrubbing your wedding announcement, however, clearly requires six weeks of intensive research, due-diligence, and investigative reporting. This is far more important than Iran. This is a wedding. Space is limited. Use all of your names. Borrow some names. The address should be New York. The schooling should be Ivy League.
The occupation can be anything —anything in the world—so long as you have a very, very difficult time describing what it is you do for a living. No carpenters. No cops. We can work with that! Whip out your and start embellishing.
Feeding the bridal ego: announcing in the new york times
The odds of them liking your anecdote are inversely proportional to the odds that your friends will vomit. Please include this information even if the parents are no longer living. At least one of the parents should be from New York or briefly lived in New York or once traveled on a bus and got out and took a piss in New York. One of them should be a lawyer or ant. Please give the exact title and affiliation. For an interfaith event, please include the names and affiliations of any other officiants who will participate.
Please also state the exact location of the event.
The odds of getting into the new york times wedding section
The Times likes interfaith events. We also need the office phone s for those performing the ceremony. Please identify each. Submissions without telephone s cannot be considered. New York Times: If you wish, you may demonstrate your preferences by following the form of an announcement that has appeared in our Sunday newspaper.
You can find plenty of examples here. Get ready for some good laughs. New York Times: While we continue to include formal portraits of couples and individual brides, we also include full-length images of brides in wedding dresses, as well as informal photographs of individuals or couples at home, outdoors or in other attractive settings.
Now our readers demand more. New York Times: Those posing for pictures should be neatly dressed, and the images should be of professional quality. Five-by-seven or eight-by-ten prints are preferred.
They may be either black-and-white or color. I love this.
New York Times: Couples posing for pictures should arrange themselves with their eyebrows on exactly the same level and with their he fairly close together. New York Times: Couple pictures should be printed in a horizontal format. For the rest of the gruesome details where you send it, the file types to use, technical photo infocheck out their full schpeel here.
Get started Groom Duties Back. What, exactly, is the Weddings Section of The Times? Addresses, schooling, occupations. Details like this are solid gold.
Can the new york times weddings section be justified?
If not, get cracking. New York Times: Our policy on photographs has changed. Oh no!
So all that work you did researching this two years ago will be wasted… New York Times: While we continue to include formal portraits of couples and individual brides, we also include full-length images of brides in wedding dresses, as well as informal photographs of individuals or couples at home, outdoors or in other attractive settings. Um…weird, but okay. Up Next.
Making Sense of Wedding Transportation. Even More Groom Duties. Includes tips and examples.
The invite list actually includes three. So we'll give you some broad, across the board guidelines for surviving the God stuff. Yet if you don't take some preemptive measures and follow some key rules of etiquette, it could be absolute hell. Minimize that risk.