There are a million different dating apps and services to help you find someone. Gone are the days where your only options were to go to a crowded bar and hope for the best.
We no longer rely on a friend or relative to set us up with someone they love. So when our relationship ended a month before my 30th birthdayI found myself in uncharted territory. Dating has become a vast digital landscape, and to get anywhere you have to become a bit of a professional.
What single men really think about dating in their 30s
After deciding I was ready to date again, I was overwhelmed by the options available. Gone were the days of choosing between Match or eHarmony.
On top of that, I identify as queer and exclusively date women. With online dating, much like the lottery, you have to be in it to win it. There is the time you spend agonizing over the best pictures of yourself to use first.
Rationally I know this, but dating apps can make you feel completely irrational sometimes. Sometimes it feels like a full-time job just maintaining your presence.
Your online dating profile is always a work in progress. There are always changes to make.
So you change those. Should you make it funnier? Less snarky? Are you coming off desperate? There is so much anxiety driving most of the decisions when it comes to how you present yourself on your profile.
Why dating in your 30s and 40s can be pure hell
Online dating is exhausting if for no other reason than the amount of time you put into it. At any given time, you could be using up to three different apps to find one date.
No good bees in the hive? Move on to Coffee Meets Bagel.
Dating in your 30s is more challenging than i ever expected
Swipe fatigue is so real. Each night, I allot about a half hour to checking online dating apps.
When I find myself mostly swiping left, I switch to the next one and so on. The fatigue is even more real as a single mom.
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Especially if it never goes anywhere. If we actually do make it to a date, that feels like an even bigger accomplishment, simply because of the coordination — and expense hello, babysitters!
One of the only benefits to online dating in my 30s is having friends who are doing it too. Having people to commiserate with when it gets to be too much is a lifesaver.
We all understand how absolutely exhausting dating in your 30s is. I love helping pick out selfies and rewrite bios for my friends, but nothing is more fun than sharing screenshots of some of the profiles we come across during our swiping adventures. And boy, have there been plenty.
The good, the bad and the ugly of online dating in your 30s
No matter how much time and effort I put in, finding someone is hard. I have no idea if the love of my life is waiting for me on an app.
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