Anger has been a problem my whole life.
It contributed to ending of my two marriages and nearly brought about the demise of my third. Inside I felt confused, out-of-control, and righteous. When I tried to explain my feelings to my wife, she was mystified. It took me years to begin to understand why my wife was afraid of me. I never hit her.
My wife, Carlin, and I have been married now for 38 years. Women are afraid that men will kill them. How can you compare fear of being laughed at to fear of being killed?
Yet, Atwood is suggesting that fear of death and fear of being laughed at are comparable. Men are generally bigger, stronger, and more aggressive. Every day in the news we see examples of male violence.
The secret reason men get angry with women over “nothing”
There are mass shootings, men killing their wives and girlfriends in fits of jealous rage, rapes, and sexual harassment. In order to understand why men are afraid of being laughed at by women, we have to take a journey into the world of men and try and see things through their eyes. In his book, Misogyny: The Male Malady, anthropologist David Gilmore describes the near universal dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women that is built into the male psyche.
Men can be overt in their anger or they can be covert. Sound familiar. I still remember being in a room with my mother and a of neighbor friends. They were talking about their husbands amid derisive laughter about the various short-comings of the men.
I was six years old. James Gilligan, M. Unable to meet the demands of being the sole breadwinner in the family, he took an overdose Why men get mad sleeping pills and was committed to the state mental hospital. This was true for me and for many men I know. With my father gone, I needed my mother even more. I was angry that my father had left and angry at my mother because I felt even more engulfed by her energy.
It happens in both boys and girls actually, but the essence of this hunger is vitally different. There is something about the connection between the child and the same-sex parent that, when unmet, creates a gaping hole in their souls. At its core the reason men are so angry at women and so wounded by their laughter is that we feel unmanned and ashamed.
Why do men get angry?
So many of us have a hole in our soul, that a little laughter feels like a massive attack. In order to truly love ourselves and the women in our lives, we have to heal the father wound. It will be available later this year. Your comments Why men get mad are welcomed and appreciated. Happy to hear if you have other comments after reading the article. Fear of being killed is likely never conciouis in most women except maybe in abusive relationships. What about fear of abandonment, I thought that was what women operate on. In addition, men have a much higher probability of being ridiculed, disrespected and criticized than women because not just women do that to them but other men do as well patriarchy.
As far as the father wound, maybe father wounds have existed forever because patriarchy has existed forever. More dysfunctional fathers are caused by it, thus the need for youngsters to being initiated by their community of elders and not just their fathers. Ted, Your points are well-taken. I believe the fear women have of being killed operates on an archetypal, unconscious level. Fortunately, what we call Patriarchy or the Dominator culture is not inherent, but really goes back only 6, years.
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When we were hunter-gatherers, which was for most of Why men get mad human history, we lived in a much more egalitarian society. In my, and also all of my male friends experiences, this is not the case at all, what we have is a man logical thinker and a woman emotional thinker these two thinking patterns just do not mix well, that is one of the many reasons why women were more subservient in earlier times.
When you think emotionally, there is a big gray area, depending on her mood will determine where and what the gray area is. In todays society, where some of us actually encourage disharmony in Why men get mad by trying to empower a sex that is way too powered already, a big reversal is needed to get back to an even keel. There is a saying, Every thing in the universe goes in an anti-clockwise direction except for the human female and she wonders why everyone else gets it wrong.
The problem in society is not the men, it is the women, their flawed way of thinking, their immature anger issues, their misplaced blame, their inability to accept repercussions and responsibility for their actions. Giving equatity to women was like giving a loaded gun and now we are suffering for it. But in saying that, a man that does not listen to his woman is a fool, she has the intelligence to have great ideas, as sporadic as they are, they definitely are there.
The social contract is broken and has been for a long time. Most men obviously try to find an attractive woman to marry who treats them half decent. For the most part, men are, consciously or subconsciously, married just so that women can get pregnant. This is besides women withholding sex while men see nothing but sexual abandon all over the internet. Men save more lives than they take.
We were only left with anger. That was always appropriate for men.
I know you're mad, but you might also be scared.
Women, on the other hand, could show every other emotion except anger. Of course, if men had left it up to women to make the first move, the human race would have died 10 million years ago. But men have to realize our overall health is more important than what others think we should be and what we should do with our lives. Thanks for the comments. They are interesting and appreciated. Clearly we are at a time in human history where we both need each other and feel wounded by each other.
Its like the story of two porcupines in the snow. They would huddle together for warmth, but then hurt each other with their sharp spines.
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We need to learn, all of us, to be close, yet free and to love ourselves and our partners and also learn the ways we consciously and unconsciously wound each other. Copyright MenAlive!
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